Teacher: What’s this a
picture
of ?
Class: Don’t know, Miss.
Teacher: It’s a
kangaroo.
Class: What’s a kangaroo, miss ?
Teacher: A kangaroo is a native of
Australia.
Smallest boy: Wow, my sister’s married one of them
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Why did your
sister jump out
the window ?
Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit
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A little demon came
home from
school one day and said to his mother, ‘I hate my sister’s
guts.’
‘All right,’ said his mother, ‘I won’t put them in your
sandwiches
again.’
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Mother: Jared, get your little
sister’s hat out of that
puddle.
Jared: I can’t mum, she’s got it
strapped too tight under her
chin!
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How do you know if your little
brother is turning into a fridge ?
See if a little light come on
whenever he opens his mouth !
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My sister
wanted to marry a man
clever enough to make a lot of money but dumb
enough to spend it on
her !
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Do robots have sisters ?
No,
just transistors !
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Sister: Mom wants you to come in
and help fix
dinner. Brother: Why? Is it broken?
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Brother: Which is farther away-
NY City or the moon? Sister: NY City. Why do ask? Brother: Well, I can
see the moon, but I can’t see NY City.
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Knock Knock
Who’s there
!
Brother !
Brother who ?
Brother-ation, I’ve forgotten your name
!
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My brother’s just opened a
shop.
Really? How’s he doing?
Six months. He opened it with a
crowbar.
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Big Brother: That planet
over
there is Mars.
Little Brother: Then that other one must be Pa’s.
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My brother’s one
of the
biggest stickup men in town.
Gosh is he really?
Yes, he’s a
six-foot-six billposter.
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Little Brother: I’m going to
buy a sea horse.
Big Brother: Why?
Little Brother: Because I want
to play water polo!
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Dad: Don’t be
selfish. Let
your brother use the sled half the time.
Son: I do, Dad. I use it going
down the hill and he gets to use it
coming up!
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Mum: Why does your little brother
jump up and down before taking his medicine?
Boy: Because he read
the label, and it said ’shake well before
using.’
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Mummy Monster: What are you doing
with that saw and where’s your
little brother ?
Young Monster:
Hee, hee ! He’s my half-brother now!
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Did the bionic
monster have a
brother ?
No, but he had lots of trans-sisters!
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‘What’s your father’s
occupation?’ asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic
year.
‘He’s a conjurer, Ma’am,’ said the new boy.
‘How
interesting. What’s his favourite trick?’
‘He saws people in
half.’
‘Gosh! now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?’
‘One
half brother and two half sisters.’
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Michael: It’s hard for my
sister to eat.
Maureen: Why ?
Michael: She can’t bear to stop
talking.
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Do you like my new baby sister ?
The
stalk bought her.
Hmm, it looks as if the stalk dropped her on
her head.
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My sister went
on a crash
diet.
Is that why she looks a wreck ?
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Why does your sister have yeast and
shoe polish for breakfast ?
Because she wants to rise and
shine.
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Doctor, Doctor! my sister thinks
she’s an elevator.
Tell her to come in.
I can’t. She doesn’t
stop at this floor.
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Alfie was listening to his
sister practice her singing. ‘ Sis,’ he said, ‘I wish you’d sing
Christmas carols.’
‘That’s nice of you, Alfie,’ she replied. ‘Why
?’
‘Then I’d only have to hear you once a year !’
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My sister is so dim she thinks that
a cartoon is a song you sing in a car.
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So you are distantly related to the
family next door, are you?
Yes- their dog is our dog’s
brother.
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A scoutmaster asked one of his
troop what good deed he had done for the day. ‘Well,’ said the Scout.
‘Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby
brother
have it.’
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First Boy: Why is your brother
always flying off the handle
?
Second Boy: Because he’s got a screw
loose !
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Peter: My brother wants
to work
badly!
Anita: As I remember, he usually does !
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Dan: My little brother is a
real
pain.
Nan: Things could be worse.
Dan: How?
Nan: He could be
twins !
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