JokzBlog.com

Which of our meaty friends are into astrology?
Those that
are born under the sign of the Ham!

written by Jokester

Which people do the
burgers hate?
The
ones who are always putting the bite on them!

written by Jokester

Which political discussions between the
Russians
and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?
The SALT
talks!

written by Jokester

Which type of comedy leaves a hamburger
cold?
BITING humour!

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Who are the hamburgers favourite
people?
Vegetarians!

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Who can beat any burger at golf?
Any LINKS
sausage!

written by Jokester

Who do hamburgers love on TV?
Archie
Bunker’s son-in-law, the meathead!

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Who is the hamburgers’ favourite
actress?
Candice Berger!

written by Jokester

Who was the burger’s favourite all-time movie

director?
Sizzle B. DeMille!

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Who wins most of the medals for bravery in
Burger
Land?
The meatball heros!

written by Jokester

Why are hamburgers essential to
football?
Because the game is played on a griddle-iron!

written by Jokester

Why aren’t burgers too
good at
basketball?
Too many turnovers!

written by Jokester

Why can any hamburger run the mile in under
four
minutes?
Because it’s a FAST food!

written by Jokester

Why did the pro football player from the

last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?
He wanted to
know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!

written by Jokester

Why do
burgers laugh when you surround them
with pickles?
Who knows - maybe they’re picklish!

written by Jokester

Why do burgers run the gauntlet?
To test
their meattle!

written by Jokester

Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on
stage?
They give meaty performances - especially if they are in their

prime!

written by Jokester

Why do hamburgers feel sad at
barbecues?
They get to meet their old flames!

written by Jokester

Why do hamburgers make good
baseball
players?
They’re great at the plate!

written by Jokester

Why do hamburgers make poor pigeons?
They
won’t talk no matter how you grill them!

written by Jokester

Why do the hamburgers
beat the hot dogs at
every sport they play?
Because hot dogs are the wurst!

written by Jokester

Why is President Carter important to

Hamburger Land in April?
One the opening day of the baseball season, he
throws out the first
meatball!

written by Jokester

Why was the burger thrown out of the
Army?
He couldn’t pass mustard! (muster)

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Why were the burgers in the
refrigerator
embarrassed?
They saw the salad dressing!

written by Jokester

What is the hamburgers’ most familiar
song?
‘Home on the Range’!

written by Jokester

What is the hamburgers’ motto?
If at first
you don’t succeed, fry, fry again!

written by Jokester

What kind of a pitch
did Sandy Koufax of
the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have?
A fastball - a sizzler.

written by Jokester

What kind of baseball do burgers
play?
Ketchup baseball!

written by Jokester

What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger
joint?
Fry-by-night!

written by Jokester

What kind of girl does a hamburger like?
Any
girl named Patty!

written by Jokester

What old-time song is the burgers’
favourite?
‘Hammy’ - as sung by Al Jolson!

written by Jokester

What song do burgers sing on the

job?
Gristle While You Work!

written by Jokester

What system do they teach in Hamburger High’s

math courses?
The meatric system, silly!

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When can you count on a hamburger in an

emergency?
When the chips are down!

written by Jokester

When do burgers quit their jobs?
The day
they decide to meat LOAF!

written by Jokester

When do hamburgers most enjoy
watching
TV?
During PRIME time!

written by Jokester

When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile

button?
When somebody says, ‘Well done’!

written by Jokester

When the crooked hamburger took it on the

‘lamb’, where did it go?
Oh, ‘ewe’ know!

written by Jokester

Where can a burger get a great night’s
sleep?
On a bed of lettuce!

written by Jokester

Where do the burgers go on New Year’s
Eve?
To a meat ball!

written by Jokester

Where does a burger feel at home?
On the
range!

written by Jokester

Where does a burger go on vacation?
The
Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley!

written by Jokester

Which baseball team is currently the favourite

with hamburger fans?
The Cincinnati Reds -because they’re the
Big Bread Machine!

written by Jokester

Which
burgers are
dishonest?
Cat-burgers! (burglars)

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Which burger is famous for a long
nose?
Cyrano de Burgerac!

written by Jokester

Which burgers can tell your fortune?
Medium
burgers!

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Which burgers love to act?
Ham-burgers!

written by Jokester

Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in
baseball?
A double!

written by Jokester

Which is the meat patties’ least favourite day
of the
week?
Fry-day!

written by Jokester

Which meatballs get a little tipsy on
occasion?
The POTTED ones!

written by Jokester

How was the
hamburger murdered?
First it
was ‘rolled,’ then smothered in onions

written by Jokester

In what school
subjects does the teacher
say, ‘Well done, hamburgers’?
A wide range of subjects - meatyeval,
history, meatematics and word
grill.

written by Jokester

Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your
fingers?
No, you should eat your fingers separately!

written by Jokester

Name two tennis stars who
are famous in the
hamburger world?
Bjorn Borger and Billie Jean-o’s Burger King!

written by Jokester

Is there a way to make a hamburger do the
Hula?
Sure, order a burger and a shake!

written by Jokester

Seriously, when the crooked
hamburger took
it on the 1am, where did it go?
Heidelburg-er, Germany!

written by Jokester

What are some outstanding hamburger
colleges?
Brandeis, Cowlifornia State, Hoofstra, Pen State, Ranchelaer

Polytechnic, Burgereley and Moosouri!

written by Jokester

What can you say about Ham Burger and
Chief
Justice Warren Burger?
Ham Burger is ‘well done’ and Chief Justice
Warren Burger has ‘done
well’!

written by Jokester

What did the hamburger say when it found out
that most people
liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?
‘Hot
dog!’

written by Jokester

What did the hamburger say when it pleaded
‘not
guilty’?
I’ve been flamed!

written by Jokester

What did the hamburgers say to the butcher who

acted on a TV show?
Welcome back, Cutter!

written by Jokester

What did they call it when NHL officials

refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?
Rink
injustice!

written by Jokester

What did they do to the burger who thought he
was a
rooster?
Cook-a-doodle-do!

written by Jokester

What did they say about the burger who went
skiing
for the first time?
How the meaty have fallen!

written by Jokester

What did they tell the burger who enlisted in

the Army?
You’ve got no beef, soldier!

written by Jokester

What do burgers think when they are

surrounded by gherkins?
They think they are in a pickle.

written by Jokester

What do hamburger workers say on
Monday
morning?
Well, it’s back to the old grind!

written by Jokester

What do some burger eaters have?
A Hardee
appetite!

written by Jokester

What do some people have against
cheeseburgers?
They say, ‘Burgers can’t be cheesy!’

written by Jokester

What do they call a meeting among the most

brilliant people in Burger Land?
A MEATing of the minds!

written by Jokester

What do they say about the noise at the

Burger Land Super Bowl?
It’s PAN-demonium!

written by Jokester

What do you use to determine if a refrigerated

burger is cold enough?
A thermomeater!

written by Jokester

What famous movie did the hamburger meat think
of
when they took it out of the freezer?
They Fry Who Cam in
from the Cold!

written by Jokester

What great song is associated with

hamburgers and baseball?
‘Steak Me Out to the Ballgame’!

written by Jokester

What happens when two burgers fall in
love?
They live together in holy meatrimony!

written by Jokester

What is a hamburger’s
favourite
story?
Hansel and Gristle!

written by Jokester

How are UFO’s related to hamburgers?
Both
are Unidentified Frying Objects!

written by Jokester

How can you tell which Burger
Land baseball
pitchers are left-handed?
They’re the one’s wearing the
left-handed ‘meats’!

written by Jokester

How did the
jury find the
hamburger?
Grill-ty as charred!

written by Jokester

How do gossipy hamburgers spend their
time?
They chew the fat.

written by Jokester

How do the Rolling Stones like their
burgers?
Plain - Rolling Stones gather no moss-tard!

written by Jokester

How do they prevent crime in hamburger
country?
With burger alarms!

written by Jokester

How do we know burgers love young
people?
They’re pro-teen!

written by Jokester

How do we know hamburgers have high
IQ’s?
They ‘loin’ fast!

written by Jokester

How do we know that hamburgers love classic

music?
They’re often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and
Cownegie
Hall!

written by Jokester

How do you insult a hamburger patty?
Call it
a meatball!

written by Jokester

How do you make a cheeseburger sad?
Make it
with blue cheese!

written by Jokester

How do you make a hamburger green?
Find a
yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!

written by Jokester

How do you
make a hamburger
smile?
Pickle it gently!

written by Jokester

How does a burger acquire good taste?
With a
little seasoning!

written by Jokester

How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land

baseball?
He throws four meatballs!

written by Jokester

How far do burgers go in school?
Through
cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!).

written by Jokester

Are hamburgers male?
Yes, because they’re
boygers, not girlgers!

written by Jokester

Can a hamburger marry a
hot dog?
Only if
they have a very frank relationship!

written by Jokester

Can you name two burgers
who are
royalty?
Sir Loin and Burger King!

written by Jokester

Do hamburgers make good vampires?
No, because
they always find themselves in ghoulash situations!

written by Jokester

Do
they really serve burgers in
Transylvania?
Very rare-ly.

written by Jokester