Feb 04
What does FCPA stand for?
Finally Caught
Pinching the Assets
Feb 04
Why did the auditor cross the
road?
Because he looked in the file and that’s what they did last
year.
Feb 04
Why did he cross back?
So he could charge
the client for travel expenses.
Feb 04
How many auditors does it take to change a
light bulb?
How many did it take last year?
Feb 04
How many cost accountants does it
take
to change a light bulb?
Hmmm……..I’ll just do a few numbers and
get back to you
Feb 04
Laws of
Accounting
1. Trial balances
don’t
2. Bank reconciliations never do
3. Working Capital does
not
4. Return on Investments never will
Feb 04
Who was the first accountant?
Adam. He
got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the
first
entry, lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly
accounts
and raised the first liability.
Feb 04
What’s a shy and retiring
accountant?
An accountant who is half a million shy and that’s why he’s
retiring.
Feb 04
A businessman tells his friend that his
company is looking for a new accountant.
His friend asks, “Didn’t
your company hire a new accountant a few
weeks ago?”
The
businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking
for.”
Feb 04
A businessman hires a private detective to
find a missing
accountant.
The detective tells him that he needs
a description and asks a few
questions.
“Was he tall or was he
short?”
The businessman replies, “Both!”