Feb 03
A young accountant spends a week at his new
office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every
morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens
his
desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing
sheet of
paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with
renewed vigor,
returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins
his day’s work.
After he retires, the new accountant can hardly
wait to read for
himself the message contained in the envelope in
the drawer, particularly
since he feels so inadequate in replacing
the far wiser and more highly
esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks
to himself, it must contain the
great secret to his success, a
wondrous treasure of inspiration and
motivation. His fingers tremble
anxiously as he removes the mysterious
envelope from the drawer and
reads the following message:
“Debits in the column toward t
he file cabinet.
Credits in the column toward the window.”
written by Jokester
Feb 03
Q: What is a Budget? A: An
orderly
system for living beyond your means.
written by Jokester
Feb 03
How many accountants
does it take to
change a light bulb?
“What kind of answer did you have in
mind?”
Two, one to change the light bulb and one to check that it was done
within the given budget.
written by Jokester
Feb 03
What’s the definition of an
accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you
don’t understand.
written by Jokester
Feb 03
What’s the definition of a good tax
accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.
written by Jokester
Feb 03
When does a person decide to become an
accountant?
When he realises he doesn’t have the charisma to succeed
as an
undertaker.
written by Jokester
Feb 03
Why did God invent economists?
So
accountants could have someone to laugh at.
written by Jokester
Feb 03
What’s an actuary?
An accountant without
the sense of humour.
written by Jokester
Feb 03
Why do some accountants
decide to become
actuaries?
They find bookkeeping too exciting.
written by Jokester
Feb 03
What do actuaries do to liven up
their
office party?
Invite an accountant.
written by Jokester