Mar 06
“I remember when the
candle shop burned
down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy
Birthday.’”
Mar 06
“Artificial intelligence is a wonderful
thing.
I told my computer that today is my birthday,
and it said that
I needed an upgrade.”
Mar 06
Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally
depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was
wrong.
“I’ll never understand women” said Joe. “The other night on my
birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I
wanted.”
“Wow! That’s quite some gift” said the bartender. “So why are
you
so dejected?”
“Well I thought about it for a while” said
Joe, “and decided to send
her home to her mother, and now she
won’t even speak to me!”
Mar 06
It was
Grandpa Jones’ 100th birthday and
he was still in perfect health. At
his birthday party he was asked
how he managed to live so long and stay
so fit.
He explained
“I put my long life down to spending so much time out of
doors.
I’ve been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for
the last
75th years.”
“How do you manage to keep up such a rigorous
fitness regime?” we
asked.
“It’s simple” he said. “When I
married my wife 75 years ago, we
both made solemn pledge on our wedding
night. We agreed that whenever we
ever had a fight, whoever was
proved wrong would go outside and take
long walk.”
Mar 06
What is your favourite type of birthday
present?
Another present!
Mar 06
What did the birthday balloon say to the pin?
“Hi, Buster.”
Mar 06
How does Moby Dick celebrate his
birthday?
He has a whale of a party!
Mar 06
Why did you hit your birthday cake with a
hammer?
Because you said it was pound cake!
Mar 06
What did one candle say to the
other?
“Don’t birthdays burn you up?”
Mar 06
Why couldn’t prehistoric man send
birthday cards?
The stamps kept falling off the rocks!