Mar 09
Did you hear about the blind porcupine?
He
fell in love with a pincushion!
Mar 09
There were those three guys, a
priest, a
doctor and an engineer, and they were playing golf. But the
group
before them was extremely slow and at each hole they waited hours.
Finally the priest asked around, why was that other group was so slow? He
was told that they were very courageous firemen who saved the golf
course a couple of years ago from a terrible fire, in which they all
lost
their sight. As a proof of appreciation they were given the
right to
play on the course whenever they wanted. They like that a
lot, but being
blind they are just not too good at hitting the ball,
let alone finding
it after it’s hit.
The priest said, “Oh my
this is terrible. Tonight I’ll say a little
prayer for these
courageous souls.”
The doctor heard that and said “Don’t worry. I’ll send
them to a
friend of mine, he’s an ophtalmologist and he works
wonders.”
The engineer said “Wait. Why can’t they just play at ni
ght?”
Mar 09
Q:
How did a blind woman pierce her
ear?
A: Answering the stapler.
Mar 09
Where do blind sparrows go for treatment ?
The Birds Eye counter !
Mar 09
A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each
other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit
and
said, “You’re soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be
a
rabbit.”
The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and
said, “You’re slimy,
beady-eyed and low to the ground. You must be a
math teacher.”
Mar 08
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of
intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the
intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was
at
fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been
blind since birth, and thus
should be given additional leeway, the
rabbit said that he, too, had been
blind since birth. The two
animals then forgot about the collision and
began commiserating
concerning the problems of being blind.
The snake said that his
greatest regret was the loss of his identity.
He had never been able to
see his reflection in the water, and for that
reason did not know
exactly what he looked like, or even what he was.
The rabbit declared
that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they
could help
each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from
hea
d to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.
The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit.
After a few moments, he announced, “You’ve got very soft, fuzzy fur,
long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I
think that
you must be a bunny rabbit!”
The rabbit was much
relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to
return the favor to
the snake. After feeling about the snake’s body for a
few minutes,
he asserted, “Well, you’re scaly, you’re slimy, you’ve
got beady
little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you’ve
got a
forked tongue. I think you’re a lawyer!”
Mar 08
A nun in the convent
walked into the
bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower.
“There is a blind man
to see you,” she says. “Well, if he is a blind
man, than it does
not matter if I’m in the shower. Send him in.”
The blind man
walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to
tell him how
much she appreciates him working at the convent for them.
She goes on
and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: “That’s
nice and
all, ma’am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you
want
me to put these blinds?
Mar 08
The blind farmer was often taken for a
walk
in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might
have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards
them
one day, he abandoned the blind man.
The bull, puzzled
by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. He
turned very
quickly, caught the bull by the horns and threw it to the
ground with
a bump that left it breathless.
“Aidan,” said the neighbor, “I
never knew you were so strong.”
“Faith, and if I could have got
that fella off the handlebars of the
bicycle I’d have thrashed him
properly.”
Mar 08
An out-of-towner drove his
car into a ditch
in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to
help with his
big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car
and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull!”
Buddy didn’t move.
Then
the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t
respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, “Pull, Coco, pull!” Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, “Pull, Buddy, pull!” And the
horse
easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was
most appreciative and very curious. He asked the
farmer why he
called his horse by the wrong name three times.
“Well… Buddy is
blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling,
he wouldn’t
even try!”