A young businessman rented a beautiful office
and
furnished it with antiques. However, no business was coming in.
Sitting
there, worrying, he saw a man come into the outer office.
Wanting to
look busy, he picked up the phone and pretended he was
negotiating a big
deal. He spoke loudly about big figures and huge
commitments. Finally,
he put down the phone and asked the visitor
“Can I help you?”
The man said, “I’ve come to install the
phone.”
Two Italian
construction workers were in
the field on an extremely hot day working.. the
one says to the
other ” hey how come we do all a da work and he gets
all a da money?”
pointing to the supervisor. The other says, “I don’t
know, go ask
him.” So Guido goes up to the supervisor and says “Hey,
how come we
do all a da work and you get all a da money?” The
supervisor says
“Intelligence”.
Guido says “what is this intelligence?”
The
supervisor puts his hand on a tree and says “Hita my
hand as hard as you
can!”
Guido winds up and with all his might tries to hit
the
supervisors hand. Just as he almost does the supervisor
pulls his hand
away and Guido hits the tree! The supervisor
says “That’s
intelligence”.
Still smarting Guido goes back to his co-worker and
his
co-worker says “Hey what did he say?”
With a sheepish look on his face
Guido puts his hand on his
face and says “hita my hand as hard as
you can. . .”
“Information?
I need the number of the
Caseway Insurance Company.” “Would you spell
that, please?”
“Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E
as in eye. W as in why.
A as in are. Y as in you.” The operator pauses.
“Just a minute,
sir. I’ll connect you with my supervisor . .
.”
Why did the doughnut maker retire?
He was
fed up with the hole business.
Did you hear about the businessman who is so
rich he
has two swimming pools, one of which is always empty?
It’s for people who can’t swim!
Monster: Stick ‘em down.
Ghost: Don’t
you mean, stick ‘em up.
Monster: No wonder I’m not making much
money in this business.
What
happens when business is slow at a
medicine factory?
You can hear a cough drop.
What did the ruthless businessman say to
his employees?
If at first you don’t succeed - you’re fired!
On the first day his son joined the family
firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the factory building and
said,
‘I am going to give you your very first lesson in
business. Stand on
the edge of the roof.’
Reluctantly, the
boy went to stand on the edge of the roof.
‘Now,’ said his
father, ‘when I say, “Jump,” I want you to jump
off the roof.’
‘But, Dad,’ said the boy, ‘there’s a huge drop!’
‘Do
you want to succeed in business?’
‘Yes, Dad.’
‘And
you trust me, don’t you?’
‘Yes, Dad.’
‘So do as I
say and jump.’
The boy jumped. He crashed to the ground and lay
there, winded and
bruised. His father went racing down the stairs
and ran up to him.
That was your first lesson in business, son.
Never trust anyone.’
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