Apr 13
Q) What’s worse than raining
buckets?
A) Hailing taxis!
Apr 13
What do you get when you put a car and a
pet together ?
Carpet !
Apr 13
Monster: I’ve got to walk 25 miles
home.’
Ghost: Why don’t you take a train?
Monster: I did once, but
my mother made me give it back.
Apr 13
A sardarji
was working as editor in
a daily newspaper. Once he was travelling to
Bombay to deliver a
speech about railway department improvements. His
coach was the last
coach in the train. The train was moving very fast and
so
sardarji’s coach was jerking heavily. This made him not to prepare
for the
speech.
Annoyed by the event, the next day in the meeting, his
first point
towards improvement of railway department was: “There
should not be last
coach in any train.”
Apr 12
McAfee and Bracket were driving home
after a big party.
“Hey,” said McAfee, “be sure to watch out for
that bridge that’s
coming down the road toward us.”
“What
are you telling me to ‘watch out’ for?” asked Brackett.
“You’re
the one who’s driving!”
Apr 12
A San Francisco motorist following a
taillight in a dense fog crashed into the car ahead of him when it
stopped suddenly.
“Why didn’t you let me know you were going
to stop?” he yelled into
the mist.
“Why should I?” came a
voice out of the fog. “I’m in my own
garage!”
Apr 12
Dilmer, six-foot-three, two hundred
eighty pounds, was thrown from
his seat when the Southern Railway train
he was riding derailed.
The giant teenager flew a dozen feet
through the air before hitting
headfirst against a steel partition.
For a moment Dilmer lay dazed,
rubbing his head. The conductor came
by and kneeled down beside him.
“Don’t move!” said the
conductor. “We’ve called an ambulance.”
“Naw,” said the boy, getting
to his feet. “I ain’t hurt so bad.
That steel wall musta broke my
fall!”
Apr 12
Blake and his parents were
drinking
at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three
of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover that
they had missed the train.
“The next train is in one hour,”
said the stationmaster.
The three went back into the bar. The
parents had another drink; Blake
had a Pepsi.
Again they
heard a whistle, rushed out and discovered the train pulling
away.
“Next one is sixty minutes from now!” said the stationmaster.
An hour later, Blake, with his mom and dad, raced out onto the
platform, and his parents leaped onto the train as it pulled away. The
boy was
left standing on the platform and began to laugh
uproariously.
“Your parents just left you,” said the stationmaster. “Why
are you
laughing?”
“They came to see me off!”
Apr 12
Did you ever see a country boy in New
York whistle for a cab? He puts two fingers in his mouth and hollers,
“Taxi!”
Apr 12
The train was about to pull out of the
station. Swinging a
large bag, a young man managed to reach the
train, throw his bag in and
climb aboard, gasping for air.
seeking at him, another man said, “Young man, you should be in better
shape! At your age, I could catch the train by a gnat’s whisker and
still be fresh. Look at you, panting away.”
The young man took
a deep breath and said, “Pop, I missed this train
at the *last*
station.”