A man learned shortly before quitting
time
that he had to attend a meeting.
He tried unsuccessfully
to locate his car-pool members to let them know
that he would not
be leaving with them.
Hastily he scribbled a message to one
fellow and left it on his desk:
“I have a last-minute meeting. Leave
without me. Dave.”
At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and
found this note: “Meet
us at the bar and grill across the street.
You drove today, you
idiot.”
Jill’s car was unreliable and she
called John for a ride every time
it broke down.
One day John
got yet another one of those calls. “What happened this
time?” he
asked.
“My brakes went out,” Jill said. “Can you come to get
me?”
“Where are you?” John asked.
“I’m in the drugstore,”
Jill responded.
“And where’s the car?” John asked.
Jill
replied, “It’s in here with me.”
When I get real bored, I
like to
drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car
and
count how many people ask me if I’m leaving.
I was going 70 miles an hour and got
stopped by a cop who said, -Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles
per
hour?- -Yes, officer, but I wasn’t going to be out that
long.-
A
Roadway driver is driving east on
Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and
the CB crackles to life .
“Hey Roadway driver whos the two biggest poofs in America?”
comes
from the CB.
The Roadway driver replies . “I
don’t know” .
The other trucker says ” You and your brother
“.
Well the Roadway driver gets all annoyed but the other driver tells
him
“Its just a joke - tell it to the next truck you
see.”
Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour an finally sees
another truck .he gets on the CB and says ” Hey other truck do you know
who
the two biggest poofs in the world are?”
The other trucker
says ” I don’t know who?”
The roadway driver replies ” Me and
my brother”
A man was fed up of
having his car
broken into and having his radio stolen he decided he
would remove
it when he parked his car he also left a note saying there
is no
point in breaking in my car as there is nothing to steal. When he
returned to his car it had been broken into again and there was a new
note where his had left his, saying just checking.!
Personally, I like
to stay and read
the credits. When the last scene of Titanic faded to
black and
people began rushing for the exits, I shouted: “Quick! There
are only
enough cars in the parking lot for half of us!”
A tiny
racing car was developed by
American scientists. The Americans then sent
the car over to Japan
to see what the Japanese could do to better the
car. The Japanese
added sport wheels and an aero kit to the car, they than
sent it to
the U.K. The British scientists, to better the car, added a
sound
system and window tint. They then sent it over to the Chinese,
who
added on a lowered suspension to the tiny car. The Chinese then sent
it over to India. The Indian scientists, looked at the tiny car,
appreciated all the modifications the other countries had made, turned it
over and stamped a sign on it…. MADE IN INDIA!!!
A boy sat on a train chewing gum and
staring vacantly into space, when suddenly an old woman sitting
opposite
said, ‘It’s no good you talking to me, young man, I’m stone
deaf
!’
A monster goes to a petrol station and
says: Fill me up
The man at the petrol station replies: You have to
have a car for me to
do that!.
The monster replies: But I had a
car for lunch!
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