Apr 28
Q: What does Clinton have in common with his
Hollywood pals?
A: They all make a living by lying to people.
Apr 28
Hillary Clinton goes to
her doctor for a
physical, only to find out
that she’s pregnant! She is furious. Here
just became the senator of
New York and this has happened to her.
She gets Bill on the phone and
immediately starts screaming: “How
could you have let this happen?
With all that’s going on right now,
you go and get me pregnant! How
could you??!!! I can’t believe this!
I just found out I am five weeks
pregnant and it is all your
fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what have
you got to say???”
There is
nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams
again, “Did you hear
me??!!” Finally she hears Bill’s very, very
quiet voice. In a
barely audible whisper, he says, “Who is
this?”
Apr 28
How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first
meet?
They were both dating the same girl in high school.
Apr 28
One day there
were these three boys
walking down
the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: ‘HELP!
HELP!’
When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill
Clinton in a
lake drowning. The three boys saved
him from drowning. Bill Clinton
asks the first
boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said,
‘I
want a boat.’
The second boy said ‘I want a truck.’
And the
third boy said, ‘I want three tombstones with are
names all on
them.’ Bill Clinton said, ‘why is that son?’
The little boy said,
‘because when my Dad finds out that we
saved you, he is going to kill
us all!’
Apr 28
If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood
and
Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one
would
win?
Dan Quayle. He’s the only one who knows that
harass is one
word.
Apr 28
Q: What is the first thing that President
Clinton
says after waking up?
A: “Good morning, Bill.”
Apr 28
Q: What has Clinton done that no one has
been able to do in the last 5 years?
A: Unite the Republican
Party.
Apr 28
Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military
action in Bosnia?
A: His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict.
Apr 28
Q. What do you
get when you cross a
crooked
politician with a dishonest lawyer?
A. Chelsea Clinton
Apr 28
Q: When did Clinton’s friends become sure
that
he had political ambitions?
A: When he married outside of his
family.