Soderling, the star college halfback, was
taking a math exam.
The coach desperately needed him to play in
the Syracuse game on
Saturday, so the professor agreed to give him
an oral exam.
“All right,” said the prof. “How many degrees are
there in a
circle?”
“Uh, depends,” said the boy. “How big
is that there circle?”
Tad answered the Tennessee State frat house
phone.
“Hi,” said the voice, “this is Rollie. Come on over,
we’re having a
real wildass party.”
“Shit, Ah’d shore love
to,” said Tad, “but Ah got me a bad case of
gonorrhea.”
“Bring it along!” answered Rollie. “The way thangs is goin’, mah
buddies’ll drink anythin’!”
All the fraternity brothers left the
house
for a long weekend except for Grady, who decided to stay behind and
get some studying done.
One night Grady heard a noise under
his bed.
Fearing it might be a burglar, he leaned over and
whispered, “Anybody
there?”
“No,” said the burglar.
“That’s funny,” the boy said to himself. “I could have sworn I
heard a
noise!”
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his
English
class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative
forms a
positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double
negative is
still a negative. However, there is no language wherein
a double positive
can form a negative.” A voice from the back of
the room piped up,
“Yeah, right.”
On what kind of ships do students
study?
Scholarships.
What’s the difference between an American
student and
an English student ?
About 3000 miles !
What do you get if you cross a student and an
alien ?
Something from another universe -ity !
An angel appears at a faculty
meeting and
tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and
exemplary
behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite
wealth,
wisdom, or beauty.
Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite
wisdom.
“Done!” says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of
smoke and a bolt
of lightning.
Now, all heads turn toward the
dean, who sits surrounded by a faint
halo of light. At length, one
of his colleagues whispers, “Say
something.”
The dean sighs
and says, “I should have taken the money.”
Two
college students, Frank and Matt, are
riding on a New York City subway when
a beggar approaches them
asking for spare change.
Frank adamantly rejects the man in
disgust.
Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a
couples of
singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a
smile.
The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the
other
passengers.
Frank is outraged by his friend’s act of
generosity.
“What on earth did you do that for?” shouts Frank.
“You know he’s
only going to use it on drugs or booze.”
Matt replies, “And we weren’t?”
After the college boy delivered
the pizza
to Bud’s trailer house, Bud asked, “What is the usual
tip?”
“Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the
other
guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing
great.”
“Is that so?” snorted Bud. “Well, just to show them how wrong they
are, here’s five dollars.”
“Thanks,” replied the youth, “I’ll
put this in my school fund.”
“What are you studying?” asked
Bud.
The lad smiled and said, “Applied psychology.”
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