May 07
What do you call a frog who wants to be a
cowboy?
Hoppalong Cassidy.
May 07
A police officer saw a man dressed as a cowboy
in the street, complete with huge stetson hat, spurs, and six
shooters.
“Excuse me, sir,” said the police officer, “who are
you?”
“My name’s Tex, officer,” said the cowboy.
” eh?” said the police
officer, “Are you from Texas?”
“Nope, Louisiana.”
“Louisiana? So
why are you called Tex?”
“Don’t want to be called Louise, do I .
May 07
Visitor: Wow, you have a
lot of flies
buzzing round your horses and cows. Do you ever shoo them?
Cowboy: No we
just let them go barefoot.
May 07
The swing doors of the Wild
West saloon
crashed open and in came Little Pete, black with fury.
“All right!” he
raged, “all right! Who did it? What goldarned
varmint painted my
horse blue?”
The huge figure of Black Jake, notorious gunfighter and
town baddie
rose from a chair by the door.
“It was me, shrimp,”
he drawled, bunching his gigantic fists, “what
about it?”
“Oh,
well, er,” stammered little Pete wretchedly, “all I wanted to
say
was. . .when are you going to give it another coat?”
May 07
Swint and Fess, two Oklahoma cowboys, were
resting their
horses out on the range.
“What’d Emmaline give
yew for yore birthday?” asked Swint.
“Pair of cufflinks,” said
Fess. “But I ain’t got no use for them. I
can’t even find anyplace
to get my wrists pierced.”
May 07
Back in the Old West three Texas cowboys were
about to be hung for cattle rustling. The lynch mob brought the
three men
to a tree right at the edge of the Rio Grande. The idea was
that when
each man had died, they’d cut the rope and he’d drop
into the river
and drift out of sight
They put the first
cowboy in the noose, but he was so sweaty and greasy
he slipped out,
fell in the river and swam to freedom.
They tied the noose around
the second cowboy’s head. He, too, oozed
out of the rope, dropped
into the river and got away.
As they dragged the third Texan to
the scaffold, he resisted, “Please!
Would yaw’l tighten that noose
a little bit? I can’t swim!”
May 07
Q: Why
can’t the bankrupt cowboy
complain?
A: He has got no beef.
May 07
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire
seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed
this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only
allowed
one seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher
became more
impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m
going to have
to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned.
The
usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned
with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the
cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The
cop
surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy,
what’s
you’re name?”
“Sam,” the cowboy moaned.
“Where ya from, Sam?”
With pain in his voice Sam replied…. “The
balcony.”
May 07
Three cowboys
of the world are sitting
around camp talking about how tough they were
and the tales kept
getting bigger and bigger.
The cowboy from Australia says, “I wrestled a
200 pound crocodile and
may it cry like a baby.”
The Cowboy
from Brazil shakes his head and says, “I killed a 400 pound
steer
with my bare hands.”
The Cowboy from Texas just smiled and kept
stirring the campfire with
his leg.