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The eastern lady who was all ready to take a
horseback ride
said to the cowboy, “Can you get me a nice gentle
pony?” “Shore,”
said the cowboy. “What kind of a saddle do you want,
English or
western?” “What’s the difference?” asked the lady. “The
western saddle has
a horn on it,” said the cowboy. “If the traffic
is so thick here in
the mountains that I need a horn on my saddle, I
don’t believe I want
to ride.”

written by Jokester

Why did the cowboy ride his horse?
Because
the horse was too heavy to carry.

written by Jokester

What sickness do cowboys
get from riding
wild horses?
Bronchitis (bronc-itis).

written by Jokester

Why was the cowboy a lot of laughs?
He was
always horsing around.

written by Jokester

Why did the cowboy get a hot seat?
Because
he rode the range.

written by Jokester

The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire
seats
in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed
this
he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only
allowed one
seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher
became more
impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m
going to have to
call the manager. The cowboy just groaned.

The
usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned

with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the

cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The
cop
surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy,
what’s
you’re name?”

“Sam,” the cowboy moaned.

“Where ya from, Sam?”

With pain in his voice Sam replied…. “The
balcony.”

written by Jokester

Three cowboys
were hanging out in the
bunkhouse. “I know that smart aleck Tex,”
said the first. “He’s going to
start bragging about that new foreign car
he bought as soon as he
gets back.”

“Not Tex,” the second cowboy replied. “He’ll always
be just a good
ol’ boy. When he walks in, I’m sure all he’ll say
is hello.”

“I know Tex better than either of you,” said the
third. “He’s so
smart, he’ll figure out a way to do both. Here he
comes now.” Tex swung
open the bunkhouse door and shouted, “Audi,
partners!”

written by Jokester

The cowboy
was trying to buy a health
insurance policy. The insurance agent was
going down the list of standard
questions.

“Ever have an accident?”

“Nope, nary a
one.”

“None? You’ve never had any accidents.”

“Nope. Ain’t
never had one. Never.”

“Well, you said on this form you were bit by
a snake once. Wouldn’t
you consider that an
accident?”

“Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose.”

written by Jokester

Teacher: When do
astronauts eat?
Pupil:
At launch time!

written by Jokester

A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are

to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought
to
the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last
request,
to which the cowboy replies, “Ah shore do, wardn. Ah’d be
mighty
grateful if’n yoo’d play ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ fur me
bahfore ah hafta
go.”

“Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that,” says
the warden. He turns to
the biker, “And you, biker, what’s your
last request?”

“That you kill me first.”

written by Jokester