A monster and a zombie went into a
funeral home. ‘I’d like to order a coffin for a friend of mine who
has
just died,’ said the monster.
‘Certainly ma’am,’ said the
undertaker, ‘but there was really no
need to bring her with
you.’
If a woman is born in Italy, grows up
in
England, goes to America and dies in Baltimore, what is
she?
Dead.
Vampire 1: “I once went so long without
fresh blood that I
nearly died.”
Vampire 2: “How awful!”
Vampire 1: “Yes. Fortunately, I found some in the neck of
time.”
I’ve been e-mailing William
Shakespeare.
William Shakespeare’s dead, silly.
No wonder he hasn’t
replied.
What is the last thing you eat before
you die?
You bite the dust.
What did the little kid do with the
dead
battery?
He buried it.
What is posthumous work ?
Something
written by someone after they are dead !
Why did the cowboy
die with his
boots on ?
Because he didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked the
bucket
!
When a knight in armour was killed in
battle, what sign did they put on
his grave ?
Rust in peace !
Why was George Washington buried at
Mount Vernon ?
Because he was dead !
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