May 31
Question: Why is divorce so
expensive?
Answer: Because it’s worth it.
May 31
My husband and I divorced over
religious
differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn’t.
May 31
A ninety-year-old couple decide
to get a
divorce. They go to the judge and say, “Judge, we want a
divorce.”
The judge says, “You’ve been married 70 years and now you want to
get
a divorce? Why did you wait so long?”
The couple say in
unison, “Well, we wanted to wait until the kids were
dead.”
May 31
Q: Why do divorced men get married
again?
A: Bad memory.
May 31
Definition of Divorce: The future tense of
marriage.
May 31
Mrs. Caroline Squires of Cincinnati filed for
a divorce from her
husband in 1949 on grounds of desertion. She
testified he’d stepped out
“for a beer” on the Fourth of July, 1917,
and had never come back.
May 31
A
guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising
his voice, asks to speak to
himself.
“Sorry, he doesn’t
live here anymore, we’re divorced!”
Next day, the guy does the
same thing with the same results.
He does this everyday for a week,
and finally his ex-wife realizes who
it is that keeps calling.
“Look, Bozo! We’re divorced! Finito! End of
story! When are you going
to get that through your fat head?”
“Oh, I know! I just can’t
hear it enough!”
May 31
Question: What’s the
major cause of
divorce?
Answer: Once is not enough.
May 31
Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw
in a light bulb?
A: None, the sockets go with the house.
May 30
The divorce court was attentive as the wealthy
Yuppette complained to
the Judge that her husband had left her
bed and board.
When she had finished, the husband’s lawyer rose
to his feet and
coolly replied, “Your Honor, I have a slight
correction in the typing
of the charging documents. My client claims that
he left her bed
‘bored’.”