Jun 06
Doctor, doctor, can I have a bottle
of aspirin and
a pot of glue?
Why?
Because I’ve been at my
computer all day and I’ve got a splitting
headache!
Jun 06
Doctor, Doctor, my little brother
thinks he’s a computer.
Well bring him in so I can cure him.
I
can’t, I need to use him to finish my homework.
Jun 05
What’s the difference
between a
nurse and a nun? A nun only serves one God.
Jun 05
A nurse was
showing some student
nurses through the hospital. “This will be the most
hazardous
section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are
almost
well.”
Jun 05
A doctor is going round the ward with
a nurse and they
come to the first bed where the chap is laying
half dead.
“Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?” asks
the
doctor.
“Oh, no,” replies the nurse, “I gave him eight
tablets every two
hours!”
At the next bed the next patient also
appears half dead.
“Nurse, did you give this man one tablet every
twelve hours?”
“Oops, I gave him twelve tablets every one hour,”
replies the nurse.
Unfortunately at the next bed the patient is well
and truly deceased,
not an ounce of life. “Nurse,” asks the doctor,
“did you prick his
boil?”
“OH MY GOODNESS!” replies the
nurse.
Jun 05
The nurse who can smile when
things go wrong is probably going off duty.
Jun 05
Why did the nurse always insist on
using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?
Because
nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her
patient’s
best side.
Jun 05
Did you hear about the nurse who died
and went
straight to hell?
It took her two weeks to realize that
she wasn’t at work
anymore!
Jun 05
How many nurses does it take to
change a light bulb?
None, they just have a nursing assistant do
it.
As much as the doctor orders.
Jun 05
How many triage nurses does it take
to
change a light bulb?
One, but the bulb will have to spend four
hours in the waiting
room.