Jan 23
“Mommy, all the kids at school
say I’m
a werewolf! Is that true?”
“No, of course not. Now shut
up and comb your face.”
Jan 23
Yo Momma is so
ugly that she
scares blind people!!!!
Jan 23
Three women are about to be
executed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead and one’s a
blonde.
The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she
has any last requests.
She says no and the executioner
shouts, ”Ready! Aim!” Suddenly
the brunette yells,
”EARTHQUAKE!!!” Everyone is startled and throws
themselves on the ground
while she escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the
executioner asks if she
has any last requests. She say no and the
executioner shouts, ”Ready!
Aim!” Suddenly the redhead yells,
”TORNADO!!!” Everyone is
startled and looks around for cover
while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The
guard brings her forward
and the executioner asks if she has any
last requests. She says no and
the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!”
and the blonde yells,
”FIRE!!!”’
Jan 23
Why is it that at class reunions
you feel younger than everyone else looks?
Jan 23
Why are cigarettes sold at gas
stations when smoking is prohibited
there?
Jan 23
Q. What does a woman’s asshole
do when she is having an orgasm?
A. He is usually home with the
kids!
Jan 23
A couple decided that the only
way to have a quickie while their ten-year- old son was in the
apartment
was to send him out on the balcony and let him give a running
report on
what was going on in the neighbourhood. So the boy stood
on the balcony
and reported on everything that was happening. “A
police car has just
called at the Hamiltons’ house, the Chandlers are
taking delivery of a
new wardrobe, and the Mitchell’s are having
sex.” Hearing this, the
boy’s parents shot bolt upright. “How do
you know the Mitchells are
having sex?” “Because their kid is
standing on the balcony too.”
Jan 23
Q: How do you know if a blonde
has been sending e-mail?
A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed
into the disk drive.
Jan 23
Little
Mary was not the best
student in Sunday School. Usually she slept
through the class. One
day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
“Tell me,
Mary, who created the universe?”
When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny,
an altruistic boy seated in the
chair behind her, took a pin and
jabbed her in the rear. “God
Almighty!” shouted Mary, and the teacher
said, “Very good,” and Mary fell
back asleep.
A while later the
teacher asked Mary, “Who is our Lord and Savior,”
but Mary didn’t
even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to
the rescue,
and stuck her again. “Jesus Christ!” shouted Mary, and
the teacher
said, “Very good,” and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked
Mary a third question. “What did Eve say to
Adam after she had her
twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her
with the pin.
This time Mary jumped up and shouted, “If you stick that
damn th
ing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half!”