Oct 07
Q: “How many members of the coalition does it
take to screw in a light bulb?”
A: “We are not prepared to
comment on specific numbers at this
time.”
Oct 07
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to
train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A: You only have to teach them to
take off.
Oct 07
Q: What’s the difference between Aeroflot
and the Scud
Missile ? A: Aeroflot has killed more people.
Oct 07
Q: How is Saddam like Fred
Flintstone ?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Oct 07
Two paratrooper
recruits in a
plane:
- Are you crazy, Vasily? You are going to jump without a
parachute.
- Is it mandatory to wear it?
- Sure. It’s raining
outside.
Oct 07
Recruits were shocked at the language the
sergeant used in their unit. During a smoke break one young soldier
asked:
“Sergeant, where did you le-arn your
language?”
“Learnit, hell, it’s a gift,” proudly informed the NCO.
Oct 07
The
theatrical manager exclaimed: “Your
last role was magnificent, Mr. Brown.
You enacted so well that
officer wounded on the battlefield. Your
suffering looked very much like
real.”
“It was. I’ve got a large nail in my shoe.”
“Well,” said the manager, “for heaven’s sake leave it in until the
end of the run of the play.”
Oct 07
- Who likes music? - asks a
commander.
- Two soldiers step forward.
- All right. I bought a piano.
Take it to my apartment on the fourth
floor.
Oct 07
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a
private disguised as
a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was
spotted by a visiting
general.
“You simpleton!” the officer
barked. “Don’t you know that by
jumping and yelling the way you did,
you could have endangered the lives of
the entire
company?”
“Yes sir,” the solder answered apologetically. “But, if I may say
so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target
practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower
branches. But When two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the
bigger
say, “Let’s eat one now and save the other until winter’
— that did
it.”