“What are you reading?” demanded
the father
of his seven-year-old.
“A story about a cow jumping over the
moon,” was the reply.
“Throw that book away at once,” he
commanded.
“How many times have I told you you’re too young to read
science
fiction?”
At dinner, Seth said to his father,
“Dad, I got into trouble at school today and it’s all your
fault.”
“How’s that?” asked the master of the house.
“Remember I asked
you how much $500,000 was?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Well,
‘a helluva lot’ ain’t the right answer.”
Down at the
office Bostwick boasted to one
of his buddies,
“My son Arthur is smarter even than Abraham
Lincoln.
Arthur could recite the Gettysburg Address when he was ten
years old.
Lincoln didn’t say it till he was fifty!”
“Honey,” said Mrs.
Beldon to her
husband,
“Lester’s teacher says he ought to have an encyclopedia.”
“Encyclopedia, my eye!” exclaimed Beldon.
“Let him walk to
school like I did.”
“Son, you sure do ask a lot of questions,”
said the father. “I’d like to know what would have happened if I’d
asked as many questions when I was a boy.”
“Perhaps,” said
the boy, “you’d've been able to answer some of
mine.”
Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip
and asked her
husband,
“How did Greg do on his history
exam?”
“Oh, not so good,” he replied.
“But it wasn’t his
fault. They asked him about things that happened
before he was
born!”
“Dad,” said Rickey, “what is electricity?”
“Uh,” replied his father, “I don’t really know too much about
electricity.”
A few minutes later the boy said, “How does gas
make the engine go?”
“Son, I’m afraid I don’t know much about
motors.” “Dad,” said the
boy, “what is anthropology?”
“Anthropology?”
The father frowned. “I really don’t know.”
“Gee,
Dad, I guess I’m making a nuisance of myself.” “Not at all,
son. If
you don’t ask questions, you’ll never learn
anything.”
Bentley and his wife and son were sitting at
the dinner table when the boy
suddenly blurted out,
“Gee,
you’re dumb, Mom. You don’t know anything.”
“Now, son,” scolded
Bentley, “you musn’t be picky about your
mother’s little
faults.”
During a flood in a small Ohio town, a young
girl was perched on top of a house with a little boy.
As they
sat watching articles float along with the water, they noticed
a
baseball cap float by. Suddenly, the cap turned and came back, then
turned around and went downstream. After it had gone some distance, it
turned again and came back.
“Do you see that baseball cap?”
said the girl. “First it goes
downstream, then turns around and
comes back.”
“Oh, that’s my dad,” replied the boy. “This morning
he said that
come hell or high water, he was going to cut the grass
today.”
Old-fashioned Zachary approached Lureen’s
father, intent upon asking him for her hand in marriage.
“Sir,”
he blurted out, “I have an attachment for your daughter, and
”
“See here, young man,” interrupted the parent, “when my daughter
needs accessories, I’ll buy them myself.”
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