Dec 17
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets when a clock is
around?
Because time will tell.
Dec 17
Why couldn’t the clock be kept in
jail?
Because time was always running out.
Dec 17
If your watch is broken, why can’t you go
fishing?
Because you don’t have the time.
Dec 16
What time is it when an elephant
sits on your
car?
Time to get a new car.
Dec 16
If twenty dogs run after one cat, what time is
it?
Twenty after one.
Dec 16
Customer: I’d like a watch that tells
time.
Clerk: Don’t you have a watch that tells time?
Customer: No, you
have to look at it.
Dec 16
For a weddin’ present
Ledbetter gave his son
Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked him,
“W’atcha
do with the money, son?”
“Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!”
answered the boy.
“Yew dumb ignoramous!” yelled his father. “Yew
should ‘av bought
yoreself a rifle!”
“A rifle? What fer?”
“Suppos’n one day yew cum home and find some guy sleepin’ wid
yore
wife,” explained the older redneck.
“W’atcha gonna
do? Wake him up and ask him what time it is?”
Dec 16
What are your two favourite times to party?
Daytime and night-time!