Jan 06
What do freezing rain and cake icing have in
common?
Both are a glaze
Jan 06
Why were the vets and pounds
mad?
It was raining cats and dogs
Jan 06
Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with
sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was
completely whisked away, leaving only the foundation and first floor. A
silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the
only
remaining part of the house left above the floor. The rescue
squad rushed
to her aid and found her unhurt. She was just sitting
there in the tub,
talking to herself.
“It was the most amazing
thing … it was the most amazing thing.”
she kept repeating dazedly.
“What was the most amazing thing, Ma’am?” asked one of the
rescuers.
“I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and all I did
was
pull the plug and dog-gone-it if the whole house didn’t suddenly
drain
away.”
Jan 06
Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink
on the way home
from a long day in the studio?
The nearest
ISOBAR!!
Jan 06
The Michaels family owned a small farm in
Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had
been the
subject of a minor dispute between the United States and
Canada for
generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her
ninetieth
birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three
grandchildren.
One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. “I
just got some
news, Mom,” he said. “The government has come to an
agreement with
the people in Washington. They’ve decided that our
land is really part
of the United States. We have the right to
approve or disapprove of the
agreement. What do you think?”
“What do I think?” his mother said. “Jump at it! Call them right now
and tell them we accept! I don’t think I could stand another one of
those Canadian winters!”
Jan 06
Q) How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in
fair weather?
A) He’s got bugs on his teeth.
Jan 06
If you are standing in the main
street of
Amsterdam, and can’t see the clock tower of the Central Railway
Station, that means it is raining. If you can see the clock tower, that
means it is about to rain.
Jan 06
Years ago, Nebraskans got tired of leaning
into the wind, having their top soil blown away, and chickens laying
their eggs two and three times. Seems the wind continually came down
from
Canada, and there was nothing between Canada and Nebraska to
stop it.
The farmers all got together and decided to build a fence
across the
North Border of the State of Nebraska. . . . the idea
being, to stop that
cold wind. It might’ve worked, too. The barbed
wire they used was
strong enough, .but the real problem was that a
couple owners of farms on
the upper boarder kept leaving their gates
open.
Jan 06
During the month of
June and July. Here in
the panhandle it got pretty hot in this area. In
Fact people were
even overworking in the heat. So one day I was working
outside in
the heat and then i thought i better get inside. My Boss
asked me
where i was going and i told him i am going inside to cool down .
He
said that i better get back to work. I said i cant, he said how
come.? Because it is so hot out here that i have to go inside to change my
mind.
Jan 06
Recently during the heavy rains they have experienced in
New
England the mail carrier for one neighborhood commeneted on the
“pouring
rain.” Well , atleast the dew point is coming down!