Jan 20
Zoo Keeper:”I’ve lost one of my
elephants”
Other Zoo Keeper:”Why don’t you put an advert in the paper?”
Zoo
Keeper:”Don’t be silly, he can’t read!”
Jan 20
A father and his small son were standing in front
of the tiger’s cage at the zoo. Father was explaining how
ferocious
and strong tigers are, and junior was taking it all in with a
serious
expression. Dad,” the boy said finally, “if the tiger got out
of his
cage and ate you up …”
“Yes, son?” the father said
expectantly. “What bus should I take
home?” the boy finished.
Jan 20
You don’t see many reindeer in zoos, do
you?
No. They can’t afford the admission.
Jan 20
Zoo visitor: What’s the new
baby hippo’s
name? Hippopotamus keeper: I don’t know, he won’t tell
me.
Jan 19
Some vampires went to see Dracula. They
said,
“Drac, we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?”
“Yes,”
replied Dracula, “have lots of giraffes.”
Jan 19
Come on, Fred,
I’ll take you to the zoo. If
the zoo wants me, let them come and get
me!
Jan 19
Fred’s class was taken to the Natural History
Museum in New York. “Did you enjoy yourself?” asked her mother when
she
got home.
“Oh, yes,” replied Fred. “But it was funny going to
a dead
zoo.”
Jan 19
Fred was definitely more than a bit dumb; when his
pal asked him how he
had enjoyed his day at the zoo, he replied,
“it was a total con! I saw
a sign that said To The Monkeys, so I
followed it and saw the monkeys.
Then I saw another sign that said To
The Bears, so I followed that and
saw the bears. But when I followed
a sign that said To the Exit, I
found myself out on the street.”
Jan 19
There was this truck driver who had to
deliver
500 penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck
through
the desert, his truck breaks down. After about 3 hours, he waves
another truck down and offers the driver $500 to take these penguins to
the state zoo for him.
The next day the original truck driver
arrives in town and sees the new
truck driver crossing the road
with 500 penguins walking in single file
behind him.
The
original truck driver jumps out of his truck and asks, “What’s
going on?
I gave you $500 to take these penguins to the zoo!”
The new
truck driver responds, “I did take them to the zoo. And I had
enough
money left over so now we’re going to see a movie.”
Jan 19
The
Crist family worked at a zoo. Each year
they predicted the general luck and
overall mood of the year by
watching the the gnu. If the gnu’s ears
were forward, that meant a
successful, joyous year was almost certain to
happen. But if his ears
were laid back flat against his head, it meant
that an unlucky or
very unhappy year was sure to come. One year it was
young Mary’s
turn to “survey” the animal and come up with the
prediction. It was
her first time solo, and in her excitement, she forgot to
take the
key to the cage. She was late in coming to check on the gnu.
Well,
she saw the wrong ear position and predicted a bad year, when in
fact
it was quite good. To explain the error, the local newspaper ran
the following headline a year later: MARY CRIST MISSES AN HAPPY GNU’S
EAR!